How to create a relationship that you LOVE and LOVES you back.
I have worked with many clients over the last twenty- one year’s particularly in the area of relationships. It’s an area I always find so fascinating. I have seen; clients meet their soul mate, existing, stale relationships been repaired and renewed, and others have ended amicably to enable each other to love once more.
To attract a genuine love partner and to sustain a long, happy and healthy relationship takes work and commitment. YOU must do the work, to begin with, so you attract the right partner for you. Please don’t believe that your partner’s job is to make you happy. That’s your job and it’s an inside job! Doing the ‘inner work’, the personal development work that our Life Fulfilment Trainers offer you initiates a happier, healthier you inside and out so then your partner adds to the happiness.
When you work on yourself you:
- Take responsibility for your life and what’s in it.
- Accept that you have strengths and weaknesses and work on them both, means you evolve and grow with LOVE and compassion for yourself and others.
- This is reflected in you and your life.
By creating a more loving and accepting relationship with yourself. This, in turn, makes you feel better about yourself and self- acceptance ensues. It shows in your energy, your demeanour and your presence.
Here are some tips to attract and keep a happy, healthy and loving relationship:
- Don’t be desperate. It shows and acts as a repellent to would be partners. Do the inner work of self -acceptance and this will show in you and make you attractive and desirable.
- Wear clothes that you love and make you feel good. Not clothes that you think will attract your love partner in. It gives the wrong impression of you and you would be starting off living a lie, so lies would naturally follow. BE YOU and BE PROUD!
- Say what you mean, mean what you say. Talk clearly and with meaning. Talk about subjects that bring you joy. Again, do not be afraid to be you, everyone loves a genuine person. When you talk about stuff you love, your eyes light up and you become animated. This is so attractive and endearing.
- Do not be needy. Set your boundaries from the start and stick to them.
- Do not have sex on the first date. If he/she fancies you sexually and you give in straightaway, what have you got to look forward to? Try the ‘no sex for 40 days’ at the beginning of your relationship. It builds attraction, respect and longing then wow when you finally do ‘it’…..
- Do not live in the past by bringing up past arguments. Leave it where it belongs in the past! Build your relationship on the here and now by being true to you and your partner.
- Have a weekly date night where you leave the digi -world behind. No looking at mobiles or social media. Sit and look at each other when you’re talking and listen.
- If you have a disagreement, allow each other to have their say without interrupting them and then you do the same. Use the power of Pause; pause, be silent and assimilate the information presented to you.
- Do you have aligning values? If not, the relationship will not be able to last the long haul. What core values do you have, and do they align with your partners? Read the chapter on relationships in Bringing You Back To YOU
- Finally, have fun, give each other space and encouragement to grow and together you will prosper as a couple.
Next week we look at Caring for Foster Carers, our LFT Karen Manton-Prosser is an expert in this area as she has been fostering for over twenty years.
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