How to live your life as a Foster Carer without the need for self-reproach.

 In recent writing

Here at Alison Ward Training Limited, we help foster parents, the children they look after, and the rest of their families to cope with life’s’ challenges.

As a Foster Carer myself, I know how mentally and physically taxing it can be to take on the responsibility of the children you care for. It’s vital that we recognise the effects of mental health, which, just like physical health, will have its ups and downs throughout life. Unfortunately, this simple fact remains largely unrecognised with the Foster Care Community and the mental health of Foster Carers is being compromised.

This is both tough and isolating and puts a strain on existing relationships. It’s incredibly important that Foster Carers receive the support they deserve, particularly from Mentors who are part of the fostering family. The “Bringing You Back To You” tools have been developed by Alison Ward to help change the way people think about themselves, as well as recognising their interactions with others and how to deal with difficult situations.

These tools are a means to turn negativity into positivity,  they’re simple but practical ways that work every day and as Foster Carers we need to be able to talk to someone who truly understands.

I’ve been a foster carer for 16 years and brought up two beautiful foster children from their infancies, who are now in their twenties. I began this journey over four years ago with two special needs children that I fell in love with, so I know exactly what this kind of responsibility entails, and the pressures it brings with it.

“It’s vital that we recognise the issues surrounding self-esteem as we work with looked after children as they reach teenage-hood and begin their journey into adulthood. For them, it’s an issue related journey, as they have to manage more information available to them around reasons for placements and feelings of rejection” – Karen Manton-Prosser. 

With percentages in homelessness and substance abuse rising, it’s important to gain support from a Mentor before they leave placement. Someone who can give them the tools to manage their feelings and move away from drama is imperative to their whole well being.

The Alison Ward ‘Bringing You Back to YOU!’ tools worked for me, so they can also work for YOU! 

Fostering is a remarkable and endlessly rewarding act, but there’s no doubt that it’s an incredibly demanding one. In fact, I struggled with it constantly until 6 months ago when I began my mentoring sessions with Alison Ward.

I was in desperate need of someone to understand my self-loathing at constantly having to be this person who needed to constantly be handling a child, that although I loved, at times I didn’t due to their violent and destructive nature.  I felt torn between my family and this child.  I felt tired through having no rest-bite for over 4 years and my relationship was suffering.  My partner also suffered a mental breakdown so the guilt was overwhelming. Alison listened, Alison understood, Alison taught me to love myself, to respect myself and what I do. She gave me the tools to live my life as a foster carer without the need for self-reproach (I am good enough and I am the best for these children!!).

It was then that realised I wanted to share these tools with other carers and their families through becoming a Life Fulfilment Trainer.

Here at AWT, we offer 121 mentoring sessions, group workshops and online courses to support you on your foster caring journey. We understand and are here to help.

To find out more about the ‘BYBTY’ tools and techniques, book a session or find out more, visit

Written by Karen Manton -Prosser. All rights reserved @ 2019.


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